Prioritization

Even as I write this post, I sit in the ICU room of my father-in-law.  I am accompanied by my wife, her mother, and of course, the one person we are all here for, my father-in-law Adrian.  We sit by his bedside and wait.  Waiting is extremely difficult, especially when a member of the family is the one lying in the bed.  Yet, sitting here has given me copious amounts of time to think, pondering how this reality affects and influences my future leadership.

So, what do waiting in a hospital room and leadership have in common?  I'll explain through a short story.

As any seminary student knows the common practice is to go through the entire week, preparing for classes, reading books, writing papers, studying language, memorizing... all these and so much more comprise the week of a seminarian.  This leaves very little time to prepare a sermon throughout the course of a week.  Thus for me, and many others, preparation for a Sunday morning sermon occurs most typically on Friday afternoon and Saturday.  It's not that we don't know what we are going to preach on, passage wise, or that we do not seek to compose some thoughts roughly before Friday/Saturday.  It's just that the majority of the sermon outlining and writing necessitates being accomplished on Friday afternoon and Saturday during the day.

It's into this sacred space that this current leadership lesson plays out.  With my last sermon at my teaching church scheduled for the coming Sunday, amidst the craziness of final papers and projects, I faced the typical Friday/Saturday craziness of sermon preparation.  I knew what to preach, the thoughts were already copiously generated.  Yet, the writing had yet to be done.  Spending most of Friday digging beneath the surface of the text left the actual writing to Saturday.  Knowingly my wife left me to occupy myself with the art of sermon writing.  Barely two hours into this process my wife broke the concentration as she flew through the office, panic etched deep into the worried creases of her face, phone in one hand- a change of clothes in the other.  "Stop," I commanded, "What's going on?" my feeble question freezing her in place.  "Mom just called.  It's Dad...,” her response drifting into oblivion as I began my own hurried preparations dropping my pen mid thought.  Although both of us were very aware of this reality, neither one of us could be completely prepared.

Five hours later, still silently sitting in the ICU waiting area, I learned this week's leadership lesson.  Leadership is constantly about prioritization.  As leaders, we continually come face to face with too many things to do, all as seemingly important as the next thing, and not nearly, enough time to do them all.  Yesterday my reality forced me to prioritize, my sermon or my wife, staying home or going to the hospital, my children or my wife, being a pastoral presence to both my mom-in-law as well as my wife or being a husband and son...This is just the beginning as I'm sure there are several other choices regarding prioritization I fail to mention.  Yet, as I look at this list, I realize that all these things inform each other.  Thus, not one single thing can be isolated.  I am a pastor, but I am also, more importantly, a husband and a father.  I am a student but I am also, more significantly, a son-in-law.  I am a father but I am also a husband.  Not one single thing, call it the hats I wear, can be worn independent of another.  Rather, each one informs every other one.

So, what lesson have I learned concerning leadership throughout the last twenty-four hours, even as I sit in the ICU room?  I have learned that the only way for me to be a great leader is by identifying my priorities.  With the priorities identified, I am then able to handle all the other competing things, which vie for my attention.  In fact, once clearly identified, the priorities that present themselves every single day can be stacked up, looked at holistically, and then dealt with according to their individual priority level.  Yet, this can only be accomplished in as much as I understand clearly where my priorities lie.

The bottom line this week, especially as it relates to this concept of prioritization, KNOW YOUR PRIORITIES!  Understand their relationship to each other.  Then when life interrupts, as it always will, you can immediately figure out the most important priorities in your life and pay attention to them.

For today, this is my view from The Road Less Traveled.   

Adaptive Leadership: A Brief Definition

We live in a society that is both fast paced and convenient.  From 24 hour drive-thrus, to cell phone sized internet, to super grocery stores, to drive-thru pharmacies and dry cleaners, our world is definitely changing.  Depending on whom you ask when, this may be good but it also may be very bad.  However, no matter how you view these modern changes, one thing is certain “as the pace of change in society continues to accelerate, all organizations are facing the pressure to determine how they must adjust, renew, and alter themselves, sometimes in radical ways, in order to remain viable.”[1] As a former business owner, I could not agree more.  Even the church faces this current dilemma.  The church is forced to contend with the issue of relevancy amidst these changing and chaotic times.  So where does this leave us as leaders?

            It should not surprise us that as organizations are forced to continually change, re-evaluate, shift, and continually scan the horizon for what lies ahead, we as leaders must do the very same thing.  We must be open to change, continually re-evaluating ourselves and our leadership for what lies ahead. Today one may need to be the authoritarian leader who alone has to make the difficult decisions and tomorrow this same leader may need to be the charismatic leader whose “inspiration and creativity are provided....in an independent style.”[2] Above all though “leaders cannot remain static in organizations that are adapting and growing,”[3] rather they must become as adaptable as the organizations they seek to lead.  Michaelson states, “because of the pace of change today, it may well be the case that we don’t need different types of leaders as much as we need people who can lead in different types of ways.”[4]

            This practice is referred to as the practice of adaptive leadership.  As we begin to examine this practice, I stand atop a rabbit hole and peer deep within recalling my first RCA Classis examination.  Allow me to side track ever so slightly to bring this story into focus.  It was during a rather intense examination process that the art of leadership centered around me specifically.  Prior to this exact point, I indeed had always considered myself a leader.  After all, I had successfully run a small business for a number of years before establishing and running a 501c3 not for profit organization.  Yet never had I stopped to consider exactly what type of leader I really was.  However, on this particular day, during the examination, the proctor asked specifically “Derek, what type of leader are you?”  Answering as best I could, totally unprepared for the coming moments, I replied “It totally depends on the situation and what is called for in the particular situation.”  To wit the proctor responded, “No, you certainly will lead with one particular style- what is your style?”  Again, I replied as before, “It completely and totally depends on the situation.  I do not have just one style!”  Thus, the battle began, a battle that wound up reaching a stalemate thirty awkward minutes later.  I share this simply to say had I had words to describe myself as an adaptive leader, or if I simply knew what this meant, I could have avoided this awkward moment in the exam room.  I also share this to say that there seems to be a changing of the guard as it were.  Previously leaders could pick a style of leadership that best fit their personality and lead in that particular manner.  However, to be a great leader in today’s ever-changing culture much more is required.  Although “leadership is...essential for a group to...accomplish its mission, leaders are most effective when they have the wisdom and security to adapt their style of leadership to the dynamics of their organization and the requirements of their mission over time.”[5]  Thus, adaptive leadership becomes a primary style of leadership among today’s great leaders.

            But,  just what exactly is adaptive leadership?  In their book: The Practice of Adaptive Leadership, Heifetz, Grashow, and Linsky define adaptive leadership as the “practice of mobilizing people to tackle tough challenges and thrive.”[6] Adding further they define the term thriving as having three primary characteristics: “(1) it preserves the DNA essential for...continued survival; (2) it discards (re-regulates or rearranges) the DNA that no longer serves the (organization’s/ organism’s) current needs; (3) it creates DNA arrangements that give the (organization’s/ organism’s) the ability to flourish in new ways and in more challenging environments.”[7] Thus, at its base, an adaptable leader knows how “to take the best (practices and methodology) from (their organization’s) history (and move forward) into the future”[8] in new and exciting ways without losing sight of the mission or the values that guide the mission. Adding onto this, the adaptive leader not only does the above mentioned well they also empower others to journey with them, making important decisions along the way, thereby cultivating “a shared sense of allegiance and trust...among...all.”[9] It may be of further help to identify the best adaptive leader of all, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Is this not exactly what Jesus did during his earthly ministry here on earth? In regards to the three above mentioned areas: (1) he upheld the Torah as being of significant worth, stating “Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill.”  (Matthew 5:17 NRSV); (2) he did away with the legalism of the Pharisees who were content to chain the teaching of the Torah by unrealistic expectation; (3) and each time Jesus stripped something away from the Pharisees teachings, he gave it back to the people in a healthy new way.  Additionally, Jesus did all of this while inviting people to journey with him. He specifically chose the twelve disciples, pouring himself into them, but he also allowed the crowds to join in the journey he was on.  Jesus is the best example of an adaptive leader.

            Now, although no doubt, this is but a brief overview of the practice of adaptive leadership and many more words could be written in this regard, I have sought merely to begin the conversation of what adaptive leadership is and what it looks like.  I invite, and in fact, challenge you to dig deeper into this all-important topic of leadership on your own.  And, in Jesus’ own words, “Follow me...” as you begin to consider what adaptive leadership can bring to your own organization and life.

For today, this is my view from The Road Less Traveled.    

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[1] Granberg-Michaelson, Wesley.  Leadership From Inside Out.  New York, NY: Crossroad Publishing Company, 2004.  Page 127

[2] Ibid, Page 129

[3] Ibid, Page 130

[4] Ibid, Page 131

[5] Ibid, Page 135

[6] Heifetz, Ronald, Alexander Grashow, and Marty Linsky.  The Practice of Adaptive Leadership.  Boston, Massachusetts: Harvard Business Press, 2009.  Page 14

[7] Ibid, Page 14

[8] Ibid, Page 14

[9] Granberg-Michaelson, Wesley.  Leadership From Inside Out.  New York, NY: Crossroad Publishing Company, 2004.  Page 134

Part of the Family

            I've spent plenty of time this semester pondering this strange thing called "call.”  What does it mean that we are "called," particularly to this office and vocation of ministry?  As of right now, I cannot answer this other than to say that I simply cannot do anything else.  Therefore, I guess I am indeed being called to the life of being a pastor.  Going forward with a clear sense of call indeed helps me begin dreaming about the type of church I long to lead.  Having had several opportunities to be involved in numerous churches through the years I can honestly state that I long to be a part of a family.

            I would love to say that developing the type of congregation that willingly journeys, as a quasi-family through life, celebrating joys, mourning losses, and everything else family does well would be an easy task.  The reality however, I know, is much different.  This I have witnessed first-hand, as I have been involved with numerous church families, some that were great family units, and others that, sadly, were not so great.  One thing I have noticed in all places is that largely the leader acts as the example, whether admittedly or not.  Their actions set the tone for how the church acts and operates.  It's as if the sheep follow their shepherd.  Yes, I do know that there are numerous examples that may prove otherwise, but grant that nine times of ten this is indeed the case.  If we grant this than we begin to see just why it is so important for the leader to lead, leading the way they wish the church to follow.  For me this is the biggest intimidation I have with being the established leader.  Simply put, I do not always want others to follow me.  I fear the blind leading the blind analogy.  Yet, this is exactly the role for which I am called.  

          

            Added into the present reality that engulfs me is the force of cultural conditioning that stands as a stark contrast against what the Church represents.  Culture screams for an independent reality that claims individual isolation.  Late seventies rock group Simon and Garfunkel topped the charts with a song where they belted out the lyrics, "I am a rock, I am an island...and a rock fells no pain and an island never cries.”  (Yes, I am old enough to remember the lyrics)  Not much has changed in the decades since this song's popularity and yet the church, you and I as leaders, preach an all together different message.  The church asks you to belong to a larger family of saints from all ages.  As young leaders, we ourselves are just emerging from the cultural fog that has enveloped us and are beginning to understand the truth of these statements.  Which just forces us to stop and ask, how do we lead well against these cultural forces holding up a much different reality.

            Yet, as leaders, we are forced even beyond cultural conditioning and must  contend even further with our own limitations.  For not only has culture had a shaping influence upon us, but our own past brings to bear, unless redeemed and liberated from by gone mistakes, on our present and future leadership as well.  For me personally, this comes into significant focus as it regards the issue of trust.  Inherent in any family system is an underlying current of trust.  A "good" family simply cannot be built without a certain base level of trust existing.  Owing in large account to past failures in my life, I am a bit apprehensive of people.  I simply do not fully trust people for quite some time.  It is healthy, I feel, to have a certain amount of apprehension but when this leads to distancing and lack of engagement with others it poses a problem.  It's this level of detachment that at times can be palpably felt by others, I know, I have been told as much.  Consequently, as I previously stated, since sheep follow the shepherd if I remain off-standish then should I expect any less of my congregation?  This for me then becomes one of the biggest issues I specifically need to ask God's light to shine into and illuminate for me so it does not mark my leadership going forward from here. 

            

            Who knows where God will choose to place me.  One thing I do know is that he already has the end of my seminary journey planned out, specifically for me.  I journey forward in faith, and trust knowing that sometime soon I will in fact take my stand inside of a church in Somewhere, America, embraced and loved by my new extended family.

Today this is my view from the Open Road.

"911- What is your emergency?"

I spent several years as an EMT, emergency medical technician, for our city's volunteer fire department.  One of the first accessories I received from the city, even before obtaining the dress uniform, was a fire pager.  This was legit.  This small tiny black box strapped precariously to my side represented a life I was willingly taking for myself.  This life was about being needed.  Therefore, no matter when the pager sounded, whether during family dinner or at 2 am in the morning, the response was always the same.  I would run, dashing past whoever was around, jump in the truck, hit the lights and siren, and fly off to wherever the call had come from.  Always with the realization that I may be called on to perform life-saving measures.

Although no longer an EMT, I often think back to these days with fondness.  In fact, strangely, I often hear the echoes of that little black pager I carried so long ago.  The dispatcher's crackling voice coming across the airwaves, "69 year old female, fallen, unresponsive...." and with an address given see myself jumping in my trusty white Chevy, red lights twistingly piercing the dark of night and siren blaring, as I race to be the hero.

Now, please don't hear me say that there's anything wrong with a small amount of what is often regarded as hero complex.  In fact, I think we all need to have a small degree of this heroic desire deep within each of us.  After all, it's this desire that compels us in our striving to create the type of world that Jesus himself prayed for, "...thy kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven.”  Were we to lack the desire to be about something that is much bigger than we are, namely to be God's visible representation here on earth, then what would be the point of continually trying to improve this present reality?  However, I also wonder what happens when we try to perform this way with impure motives.  Worse yet, do we always know when our motives are in fact impure?  Sadly, I think the answer to this question is a resounding "no.”  We do not always understand when we are operating from impure, selfish motives.  Thus, consequently, we run stuck more often than we would like to admit.    

As leaders, and I believe we all have the tendency towards being leaders, we must understand when we run stuck.  We simply cannot operate effectively from this position.  Running stuck leads to feelings of frustration, hopelessness, and fear.  With these feelings in tow we often operate from positions of reactivity rather than proactively, from a position of fear rather than from a position of trust.  Worse yet, when we try to lead from the stuck position we only fool ourselves.  How much better is it if we address the cause of this stuckness rather than continually spinning our wheels with no traction?  As Michaelson states in his book Leadership From Inside Out, "At times we need to uncover why we are who we are, and in the process"[1] we may well discover some areas of soul damage that await the Father's healing touch.

This process of looking deep within ourselves is a process towards discovery.  Buried deep within are all the pains of past failures, the bruises of unresolved conflicts, the burdens of past mistakes.  All of these we bury in an effort to preserve our outward appearance.  Yet, without addressing these pains, bruises, and burdens, we grant them opportunity to fester and create disease within our very nephesh, our very being.  As these festering diseases continue to grow worse, they begin dominating us.  Thus, as they dominate, we begin to exhibit negative behaviors externally, compromising our ability to lead.  It is in this compromise that our trust and respect are cast asunder.

How much better if we know ourselves as leaders well enough that these demons no longer possess the ability to jeopardize our leadership.  Undoubtedly, "those....(in) leadership...are under an obligation to know themselves."[2] Self-awareness, no matter how many demons may lie in wait within the dark recesses of our soul, has the further advantage, not only of removing the obstacles we may inadvertently place in our own way as we lead, it also helps us focus solely on our Heavenly Father's work in our lives.  Self awareness shows us that even though we are fallen far from the graces of God we still are "fundamentally loved, accepted, and forgiven."[3] Romans 5:8 tells us, "But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us.”  It is this boundless love of God for us that we are called to nurture and extend both to ourselves as well as to those we lead.  Thus, we are, and must remain, "rooted and grounded in the gracious presence of God's boundless love."[4]

Theologian Henri Nouwen, in his book Return of the Prodigal Son, offers these words to us as leaders: "As the Beloved, I can confront, console, admonish, and encourage without fear of rejection or need of affirmation.  As the Beloved, I can suffer persecution without desire for revenge and receive praise without using it as a proof of my own goodness.”  Finalizing this logic Michaelson states, "[5]Such knowledge of the heart is the final goal of the journey for any who seek the inner freedom of knowing who and whose they are, and then freely and graciously offering the gift of themselves in their service and leadership of others."[6] Amen, may it be so.

Today this is my view from the road less traveled.   

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[1] LFIO, page 51

[2] LFIO, Pg. 52

[3] LFIO, Pg. 54

[4] LFIO, Pg. 55

[5] Ibid

[6] Ibid

Enmeshment/ Self-Differentiation: A Choice

“We live in a culture where it seems almost natural for work to define our identity.”[1] Consider, on meeting somebody for the first time nine times out of ten one of the very first questions we ask is, “what do you do for a living?”  Then, with answer given, we begin a process of deeper reflection that seeks to identify some of our underlying suppositions regarding this person we have just met.  We can judge their educational level, their societal class, their income level, and so much more.  It seems that you can tell a lot about somebody simply by what they do, at least that is the silent message we send out.  However, what if we’re wrong, what if what we do for a living is not who we really are?  Could there be more to us than just our jobs?  And, if so, if there is more to us than our jobs let on, how do we ever begin to recognize this in each other?  Have you ever found yourself asking these kinds of questions?

For years, I worked as a residential builder, in fact for many of these years I owned my own company.  My entire world revolved around work boots and tattered clothes, the clothes of working class people.  I was good at what I did, and I took a lot of pride in what I did. Yet, I always bristled at the question, “So, what do you do for a living?” You see, for me this was a way to qualify me and who the person asking the silly question thought I was. Yet, despite my personal angst with the question, I always found myself answering the question. Never did I say, “Why do you ask?  I’m not defined by my occupation!”  No, rather I’d answer, “I’m a residential builder.”  You see, I never even let on that I was an independent business owner, nor that my deepest passion was to provide for my family, not even that I was constantly looking for the next movement in the construction industry hoping to be the first one to capitalize on it.  No, I never said any of this because none of this really mattered to the one asking the question. No, rather I became enmeshed in this identity as a residential builder.  In fact, I became so enmeshed that my “social life (became) an appendage of (my) work; (and) the tensions of work stay(ed) with (me) in (my) sleep....”[2] shaping the reality of even my dreams.  Worse yet, when my world began falling apart around me I was the last person to see it.  I was so concerned with the tree right in front of me that I failed to step back and see the entire forest.  Consequently, when the reality of the destruction that took place in my life reached my attention, it was entirely too late for me to do anything about it.

  

So, is there an alternative way to enmeshment?  The answer quite simply is yes.  As leaders, we need to become self-differentiated from our organizations.  Although this is a hard process, self-differentiation begins breaking enmeshment’s bonds and helps one to realize that what they do need not define who they are.  Consider this question, “what waters your soul in the course of your work?”[3] Is there something that, amid the busyness and chaos of your work, you do away from your occupation that feeds you?  Or, to consider it from a slightly nuanced angle, what charges your batteries?  How can you incorporate more time for this in your life?  By forcing yourself to articulate these things, those things that bring you satisfaction away from work, you begin creating a different reality for yourself. This results in a better ability to think and work productively when you are at work. Michaelson states, and I concur, that “all of us need the replenishment of living waters to participate fully in God’s work to heal the world.”[4] So, self-differentiation, although a bit of a confusing term, simply means your ability to see yourself for who you really are.  It’s your ability to recognize the you, the true you that only you see.

Yet, I wonder how many of us don’t really know who we truly are? I wonder how many of us have allowed other’s feelings and thoughts to define us for so long that it is hard to see the real person hidden in the depths of our souls. You see, the work of self-differentiation is extremely hard to do alone.  For those of us who have done it alone, we stand as testimony to this fact.  Here is where a person- typically called a Spiritual Director is most beneficial.  For those of you unfamiliar with a Spiritual director, it this person’s job to “create a safe and welcoming space where (one) can come and share deeply out of (one’s) inner dialogue to know and listen to God.”[5] Further, it is the Spiritual Director’s job to help you by sharing in the journey with you.

So, although this has been a brief encounter with self-differentiation, I hope it has served to begin the conversation of who you truly are.  I hope further that you allow yourself to wrestle a bit with the concept of enmeshment vs. self-differentiation.  At the end of the day, the choice is yours to make.  Will you allow yourself to be blind-sided by the problems you cannot see because of the tree that stands in your path?  Or, will you pull yourself away far enough that you can see the entire forest?  This is exactly what self-differentiation can do for you.

Today, this is my view from the Road Less Traveled

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[1] Granberg-Michaelson, Wesley.  Leadership from Inside Out.  New York, NY: The Crossroads Publishing Company, 2004.  Pg 46

[2] Ibid, Pg. 46

[3] Ibid, Pg. 44

[4] Ibid, Pg. 44

[5] Ibid, Pg. 45-46

The Still Small Voice

I ran stuck again.  My emotional and spiritual gas gauges were running lower than empty.  They were running on fumes.  There was entirely too much to do and not enough hours in the day in which to get everything done. And, rather unexpectedly, it happened.  The president of our nonprofit organization pulled me aside and wanted to talk.

“When’s the last time you spent any time away from it all, in solitude?”  His words cut through me like a warmed knife slicing butter.

           

“I don’t think I ever have,” came my humble reply.  “I don’t have enough time to think about solitude much less do it.  I have...” and I began listing my excuses as to why it was impossible to practice the spiritual discipline of silence and solitude.  “I have a wife, kids; work...If I take time off who will keep things straight around here?”  On and on the excuses went.

His response amidst my anxiety came, “Well, if you don’t make time within the next month for a day of silence and solitude, then I will force your hand...You need to get away and recharge, by yourself.”

This scenario still plays through my mind when I contemplate the spiritual discipline of silence and solitude. In a culture that prides itself on fast paced initiatives and actions it becomes increasingly difficult, if not impossible, to practice the discipline of solitude. I mean there is never enough time to do what we feel needs to be done.  There are always papers to write, books to read, projects that need to be attended, bills to pay, jobs that require more than forty-hour work weeks, friends to hang with, church activities, kids, school commitments, and on and on, the list is long.  And yet...Yet we are told to take time out, to practice the spiritual discipline of solitude and silence.

You may be asking why taking time to get away, to be alone with yourself is important.  You may think as I did, modeled by the opening scene of this short piece.  Here’s the reality behind this spiritual discipline.  Did you know that God has a special call on your life?  For some this reality is nothing new.  However, for others the reality that their life has a meaning and purpose in God’s grand metanarrative is incredible.  The problem for all of us though, and it’s also the reason this topic falls under leadership, is that even though God calls, often we’re too busy to hear.  The noise and chaos of our life threatens to drown the voice of God out into something as annoying and insignificant as a mosquito buzz.  Then, when it seems as if we have run aground again, we wonder where God is.  Worse yet, we wonder why God refrains from speaking to us.  We must learn that God will not YELL over top of our chaos. Do you remember how God came to Elijah? 

¹¹ He said, “Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to    pass by.”  Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; ¹² and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence.  ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.  Then there came a voice to him that said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”  ¹⁴ He answered, “I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword.  I alone am left, and they are seeking my life, to take it away.” (1 Kings 19:11–14 NRSV)

Just as Elijah met God through the still small voice, so God calls to each of us today as well through His still small voice.  We simply must learn anew by developing our inner spiritual being’s, a job only done through the power and the presence of the Holy Spirit, but aided by the discipline of silence and solitude. Especially important is this to us as leaders.  Other people are trusting that we will not lead them astray.  So, if this is our job, then we owe it to ourselves to be sure we are hearing from God.  Thus, silence and solitude do not exist solely in mere fairy-tales.  Rather, these two disciplines must be an ever-present reality.

So the question that begs an answer this week is will you commit to practicing silence and solitude?  Will you bring your inner spiritual being into a place where you are willing and waiting to hear from God? He still speaks, in a still quiet voice, but we must humble ourselves and quiet ourselves in order to hear his voice. Are you willing?

For this week, this is my view from the less Traveled Road. 

Kryptonite

Superman was one of my favorite super heroes growing up.  As a young kid, I used to wake up early on Saturday morning to watch Hanna Barbera’s Super Friends show.  Superman, Batman, Robin, Wonder Woman, and all the rest daringly took on the likes of Lex Luther, Darkseid, Stein, and others always saving the poor unsuspecting citizens of Metropolis.  These imaginary super heroes’s always captured my fancy.  Yet, although these cartoons were awesome to watch, never did I realize that Kryptonite was such a real thing.  You see, Kryptonite is the one thing that stops Superman dead in his tracks.  It’s this substance, from his original home planet of Krypton, which possesses the power and strength to thwart any of the man of steel’s feats of strength.  Moreover, as I have already mentioned it’s for real.

Now, I don’t mean it’s for real in the sense that there is some rock out there, call it a mineral if it makes you feel better, that will stop the real life Superman inside each one of us, dead in our tracks.  But, I do mean that we all have our own Kryptonite’s we are susceptible to.  Those things from our original home planet, our inner being, that make us react and act in certain ways.  We all possess inner demons, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities, secret vulnerabilities that drive and compel us to do things a certain way.  Maybe it’s the way we handle stress, an addiction pattern, workaholism, perfectionist tendencies, the way we respond to others, the way we relate with others when things don’t quite go our way, needing to be needed, the list of vulnerabilities is endless.  Much like Kryptonite, all these demons and vulnerabilities have the same devastating effect on our leadership as Kryptonite had on Superman.  These things stop us dead in our tracks and threaten to destroy, or seriously derail, our leadership if they catch us unaware.  It seems we all have flaws; it’s how we handle the flaws that mark us as effective leaders.  As Michaelson points out, “the inner life of a leader, in the end, directly affects whether a leader can truly lead.”[1]

So, given all of this, what options do we have to avoid Kryptonite?  First, as I did for many years, you can try to cover up these secret vulnerabilities and try to fight them.  Now, in order for you to understand this concept I must divulge what my secret vulnerabilities are. I have two major vulnerabilities, I am a workaholic, and I am a perfectionist.  For years, I hid these vulnerabilities from those who knew me, or so I thought.  You see, although I thought I hid these vulnerabilities well, everybody who knew me well knew I was a perfectionistic workaholic.  I was the first one on the job at 7:30 am and the last one to leave at 7:30 pm. Then, when everybody else went home to be with their family, I went home to my home office where I would work on more work until late into the evening.  My family was lucky if they were able to have dinner with me once a week.  And, because I was good at what I did, the praise and accolades I received fueled my desire to keep doing this.  In the end, although I fought hard to cover these vulnerabilities, they almost cost me everything that was the most valuable to me.  Thus forcing me to realize the power of the second option.

Since “leadership today requires people of character who are capable of creating a climate of trust, identifying values, building integrity, and sustaining vision,”[2]  and since this type of leadership cannot be segregated from personal integrity, but rather must be completely interwoven, the second option we have as leaders is to form accountability groups with each other.  As a man and maybe for some women also, it can be really difficult to be completely honest with ourselves in front of others.  Yet, an accountability group allows for this type of interaction.  At its best, this group is “a confidential community of faith and trust, where one’s journey, one’s wounds, and one’s hopes can be freely shared through a well-examined life, mediating the healing power of grace.”[3] You see, it’s in these groups that a leader is allowed to examine “their own unique vulnerabilities, share personal accountability for their growth, and deepen the spiritual integration of lives and service.”[4] Thus, these groups serve as a catalyst to identify and begin taking steps to eradicate  the Kryptonite from our inner beings.

The saying is that it’s awful lonely at the top.  I have been there and experienced it all.  Then, because I was blind-sided by the Kryptonite of my inner being and my secret vulnerabilities, I lost it all, almost.  I say in all honesty that I will never lead again without an accountability group that knows me intimately as much as I know them intimately.  For me this is an important and principle part to being a successful leader.  Proverbs says it this way, “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens the wits of another.”  (Proverbs 27:17)  My accountability group is that iron in my life.  These are the people that know the real me, the me I reserve only for those closest to me to see.  Thus, because they do know the real me, these are the people who can speak the hard truth when that’s what I need, or act as the sounding board when questions and dilemmas arise.  But mostly these are the people that love the real me for me.  I had to learn the lesson of accountability in my life the hard way.  If there is only one thing I could say to you, my reader, I pray that you don’t have to make this same mistake.

For today, this is my view from The Open Road.

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[1] Granberg-Michaelson, Wesley.  Leadership from Inside Out.  New York, NY: The Crossroads Publishing Company, 2004.  Pg. 30

[2] Ibid, Pg. 31

[3] Ibid, Pg. 34

[4] Ibid, Pg. 35

Blind Mistrust/ Distrust

“Do you trust me?  Do you really trust me?”  As leader’s we want the answer to be a solid yes don’t we.  We want the people underneath us to be able to trust us.  So, whether spoken aloud or through our actions, we ask this silly little question continually.  “Do you trust me?”  Yet, I wonder how often the people we lead ask us the same question.  I wonder how often we aren’t asked, in the course of a given week, “Do you trust me?”  Further, I wonder what our posture to their question articulates.  Do we really trust our people?  It’s into this conversation that chapter 3 of Leadership From the Inside Out speaks a word this week, and frames our view from the Open Road.

Drawing upon the infamous example of the Presidential administration of Richard Nixon, Michaelson illuminates the destruction that can happen when a leader has limited, or no, trust in his people.  For Nixon, it cost him his second term in office and public disgrace.  Nixon is not remembered for his first term in office.  Nor is he remembered for the positive results of this first term.  Rather, Nixon is, and most likely always will be, remembered for the embarrassment that was Watergate.  You see Nixon’s complete distrust of his people created in him a spirit of paranoia.  Paranoia crippled him to the point that it over-rode his moral and ethical judgment, and when confronted with the dastardly deeds that Nixon had authorized, on his watch, he further covered them up rather than face the real issue.  Ultimately, as previously stated, this cost him the presidency shortly into his second term in office.

I too have journeyed into the land of distrust.  I have led, albeit unwillingly, from a posture that silently affirmed to my people that I did not trust them.  You see distrust rears its ugly head every time I give one of my people a job to do and then immediately go behind their back and do the very thing myself.  Thus conveying to them that I didn’t really need their help in the first place.  Worse yet, I can do a better job than you do, so just let me do it myself.  Or, how about when I delegate a task but do not give a thorough enough explanation in order for them to complete the given task.  Then, worse yet, when they fail at the task I wonder aloud why they failed.  As painful an admission as this is, I’ve had both of these experiences happen to me.  Now, I must admit that I did not willfully do this.  Yet, nevertheless, through my silent language this is exactly what I did.  And, when the way I had handled myself was brought to my attention, I had a choice to make.  Was I going to deal with my unintended leadership mistake, or, as Nixon did, was I going to cover it up.  I chose wisely during this time and met these concerns head on.  I dealt with the unintended damage that was created.  

Yet, I can’t help but wonder now, several years later, as I am forced to look back upon these events, if there may have been a way to avoid this ugliness to begin with. I wonder what would have happened had I given full specific instructions on what needed to be done, leaving the how up to them, and trusting in their knowledge to get it accomplished.  I wonder further what would have happened if I left them to the task and did not micro-manage the details, or worse yet perform the task myself.  I wonder what kind of work environment would have been created if I did these two simple things. Most probably, I would have recognized the competence of my employees and would have accomplished far more.  Above that however, I would have created an environment where teamwork was paramount to performance.  This environment would have led to happy healthy employee morale, instead of poor morale and deficient productivity.

You see, in looking back, coming face to face with the ugliness that we have created, we have a choice, much like Nixon did.  We have the choice to further cover up our actions and seeming stupidity, or we have the choice to address the chink in our leadership.  Nixon’s “desire to cling to power as a way to deal with his insecurity ultimately left him blind to his own vulnerabilities and thus unable to control himself.”[1] Would that we do not make this same mistake but rather address the issue before it is too late.

For a fuller treatment of this particular issue see:    http://leadershipunleashed.typepad.com/leadership/distrust/

For today, this is my view from the Open Road

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[1] Granberg-Michaelson, Wesley.  Leadership From Inside Out.  New York, NY: The Crossroads Publishing Company, 2004.  Pg 29

Money

I’m a fan of old time rock and roll!  Real old time rock and roll.  Although I love Elvis, The Beach Boys, The Righteous Brothers, and others, most of my listening preference abides in the 70’s.  This decade gave rise to groups such as Creedance Clearwater Revival, Bachman Turner Overdrive, Led Zeppelin, Queen, The Eagles, Kansas, Aerosmith, Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, and so many many others.  Ah, I love reminiscing, great decade, even greater bands.  Now, in your best grandfatherly voice repeat this line, “They just don’t make music like they used to back in my day....”  This is truly how I feel.  Rock and Roll has indeed come a long way, but they just don’t make it as they used to.  In case you are wondering, and lest you make a faulty assumption, I can clarify things a bit for you.  Indeed, it’s true, I am an old head banger that’s all grown up now.  Yet, despite that fact, and despite the fact that it’s just not as cool as it used to be to rock out with the air guitar, or head bang with the air drums, there are some things you can never remove from a person no matter how hard you try.  One such thing for me, depending on the subject, is having song lyrics from this great era frame the present reality. So, as I read the second chapter in LFIO[1] entitled In the Service of Mammon, a lyric from Pink Floyd’s song Money played through my head.  The lyric goes like this: “Money, so they say, is the root of all evil today.”[2] You know, maybe when Floyd sang this in 1973 they were on to something.

I say this because I have watched over my life in leadership, some twenty plus years now, multiple times where an organization or a company, a church, or a non-profit, even a person that was well respected fell victim to serving the almighty dollar.  Money is placed before family, friendships, members, and everything else.  Its acquisition is the primary motive and so leadership becomes a game of keeping the one with the deep pockets happy.  “We can’t do this or that because Mr. Money won’t be happy.”  Although other examples could be illustrated, all these give rise to the one most damaging effect this has on any organization, which is that the organization takes its eyes off their over-all goal.  In essence, it compromises the organization’s integrity.  Yet, sadly, this damage is not always evident, even to the leader or those in leadership, immediately.  In fact, most often this is not evident until the poison has infiltrated the entire organization.  You see, “the basic test we all face...is whether we have control over the power of money or whether the power of money controls us.” [3]

So, is there a way to live in this tension?  Is there a way to live so that the mammon (money as well as material possessions) in our organizations-whether that is the church, a local non-profit, your business, even inside your own family, does not control us? For me to live in this constant tension I need to go back to the words of Scripture. I need to hear Jesus say:

“...do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear.  For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.  Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them.  Of how much more value are you than the birds!  And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?  If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest?  Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!  And do not keep striving for what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying.  For it is the nations of the world that strive after all these things, and your Father knows that you need them.  Instead, strive for his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.  “Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.  Sell your possessions, and give alms.  Make purses for yourselves that do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  (Luke 12:22-34 NRSV)

I need to hear these words from Jesus because when it comes right down to it chasing the almighty dollar is really a heart issue isn’t it.  I need to be continually reminded of this.  It’s as if Jesus comes and stands before me, and most probably you as well, and says, “Do you trust me to be enough?  Do you trust me to supply all your needs?”  You see, when Christ shapes our reality, then the promise is “And my God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 4:19 NRSV)  No longer does Mr. Money, be he a real individual or your imaginary traveling companion through this life, control the organization or my leadership there in. Rather leadership is placed on the one who can handle it all, and supply it all.  Leadership is placed in the capable hands of Jesus Christ, freeing us to serve God as opposed to the idol of wealth.

Though countless more could be said on this important issue in leadership,

Today, these are just my thoughts from The Open Road.  

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[1] Leadership From Inside Out is a book that is written by Wesley Granberg-Michaelson.  This book, as stated in last week’s post, frames my reflections for the next ten or so weeks.

[2] Waters, Roger.  "Roger Waters - Money lyrics.”  AlltheLyrics.com. http://www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/roger_waters/money-lyrics-602091.html (accessed February 20, 2013).

[3] LFIO, 18