I've spent
plenty of time this semester pondering this strange thing called "call.” What does it mean that we are
"called," particularly to this office and vocation of ministry? As of right now, I cannot answer this other
than to say that I simply cannot do anything else. Therefore, I guess I am indeed being called
to the life of being a pastor. Going
forward with a clear sense of call indeed helps me begin dreaming about the
type of church I long to lead. Having
had several opportunities to be involved in numerous churches through the years
I can honestly state that I long to be a part of a family.
I would love to
say that developing the type of congregation that willingly journeys, as a
quasi-family through life, celebrating joys, mourning losses, and everything else
family does well would be an easy task. The
reality however, I know, is much different.
This I have witnessed first-hand, as I have been involved with numerous
church families, some that were great family units, and others that, sadly,
were not so great. One thing I have
noticed in all places is that largely the leader acts as the example, whether
admittedly or not. Their actions set the
tone for how the church acts and operates.
It's as if the sheep follow their shepherd. Yes, I do know that there are numerous
examples that may prove otherwise, but grant that nine times of ten this is
indeed the case. If we grant this than
we begin to see just why it is so important for the leader to lead, leading the
way they wish the church to follow. For
me this is the biggest intimidation I have with being the established leader. Simply put, I do not always want others to
follow me. I fear the blind leading the
blind analogy. Yet, this is exactly the
role for which I am called.
Added into the
present reality that engulfs me is the force of cultural conditioning that
stands as a stark contrast against what the Church represents. Culture screams for an independent reality
that claims individual isolation. Late
seventies rock group Simon and Garfunkel topped the charts with a song where
they belted out the lyrics, "I am a rock, I am an island...and a rock
fells no pain and an island never cries.”
(Yes, I am old enough to remember the lyrics) Not much has changed in the decades since
this song's popularity and yet the church, you and I as leaders, preach an all
together different message. The church
asks you to belong to a larger family of saints from all ages. As young leaders, we ourselves are just
emerging from the cultural fog that has enveloped us and are beginning to
understand the truth of these statements.
Which just forces us to stop and ask, how do we lead well against these
cultural forces holding up a much different reality.
Yet, as
leaders, we are forced even beyond cultural conditioning and must contend even further with our own limitations. For not only has culture had a shaping
influence upon us, but our own past brings to bear, unless redeemed and
liberated from by gone mistakes, on our present and future leadership as well. For me personally, this comes into
significant focus as it regards the issue of trust. Inherent in any family system is an
underlying current of trust. A
"good" family simply cannot be built without a certain base level of
trust existing. Owing in large account
to past failures in my life, I am a bit apprehensive of people. I simply do not fully trust people for quite
some time. It is healthy, I feel, to
have a certain amount of apprehension but when this leads to distancing and
lack of engagement with others it poses a problem. It's this level of detachment that at times
can be palpably felt by others, I know, I have been told as much. Consequently, as I previously stated, since
sheep follow the shepherd if I remain off-standish then should I expect any
less of my congregation? This for me
then becomes one of the biggest issues I specifically need to ask God's light
to shine into and illuminate for me so it does not mark my leadership going forward
from here.
Today this is my view from the Open Road.
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