Thursday, April 18, 2013

Part of the Family


            I've spent plenty of time this semester pondering this strange thing called "call.”  What does it mean that we are "called," particularly to this office and vocation of ministry?  As of right now, I cannot answer this other than to say that I simply cannot do anything else.  Therefore, I guess I am indeed being called to the life of being a pastor.  Going forward with a clear sense of call indeed helps me begin dreaming about the type of church I long to lead.  Having had several opportunities to be involved in numerous churches through the years I can honestly state that I long to be a part of a family.

            I would love to say that developing the type of congregation that willingly journeys, as a quasi-family through life, celebrating joys, mourning losses, and everything else family does well would be an easy task.  The reality however, I know, is much different.  This I have witnessed first-hand, as I have been involved with numerous church families, some that were great family units, and others that, sadly, were not so great.  One thing I have noticed in all places is that largely the leader acts as the example, whether admittedly or not.  Their actions set the tone for how the church acts and operates.  It's as if the sheep follow their shepherd.  Yes, I do know that there are numerous examples that may prove otherwise, but grant that nine times of ten this is indeed the case.  If we grant this than we begin to see just why it is so important for the leader to lead, leading the way they wish the church to follow.  For me this is the biggest intimidation I have with being the established leader.  Simply put, I do not always want others to follow me.  I fear the blind leading the blind analogy.  Yet, this is exactly the role for which I am called.  
          
            Added into the present reality that engulfs me is the force of cultural conditioning that stands as a stark contrast against what the Church represents.  Culture screams for an independent reality that claims individual isolation.  Late seventies rock group Simon and Garfunkel topped the charts with a song where they belted out the lyrics, "I am a rock, I am an island...and a rock fells no pain and an island never cries.”  (Yes, I am old enough to remember the lyrics)  Not much has changed in the decades since this song's popularity and yet the church, you and I as leaders, preach an all together different message.  The church asks you to belong to a larger family of saints from all ages.  As young leaders, we ourselves are just emerging from the cultural fog that has enveloped us and are beginning to understand the truth of these statements.  Which just forces us to stop and ask, how do we lead well against these cultural forces holding up a much different reality.

            Yet, as leaders, we are forced even beyond cultural conditioning and must  contend even further with our own limitations.  For not only has culture had a shaping influence upon us, but our own past brings to bear, unless redeemed and liberated from by gone mistakes, on our present and future leadership as well.  For me personally, this comes into significant focus as it regards the issue of trust.  Inherent in any family system is an underlying current of trust.  A "good" family simply cannot be built without a certain base level of trust existing.  Owing in large account to past failures in my life, I am a bit apprehensive of people.  I simply do not fully trust people for quite some time.  It is healthy, I feel, to have a certain amount of apprehension but when this leads to distancing and lack of engagement with others it poses a problem.  It's this level of detachment that at times can be palpably felt by others, I know, I have been told as much.  Consequently, as I previously stated, since sheep follow the shepherd if I remain off-standish then should I expect any less of my congregation?  This for me then becomes one of the biggest issues I specifically need to ask God's light to shine into and illuminate for me so it does not mark my leadership going forward from here. 
            
            Who knows where God will choose to place me.  One thing I do know is that he already has the end of my seminary journey planned out, specifically for me.  I journey forward in faith, and trust knowing that sometime soon I will in fact take my stand inside of a church in Somewhere, America, embraced and loved by my new extended family.

Today this is my view from the Open Road.

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